Great Awakening film premier unveils surprise plot twist… World’s true villains are China and Klaus Schwab – (also, buy our merch)

In a groundbreaking turn of cinematic events, director Mikki Willis has teamed up with alternative media tycoons like JP Sears to create a documentary that casts the Communist Party of China and Klaus Schwab, executive chairman of the World Economic Forum, as the world’s foremost antagonists, raising some eyebrows and, hopefully for the filmmakers, consumer spending.

Interspersed with this intrigue is a prodigious amount of time spent by the filmmakers on an infomercial-style promotion of their own products. Viewers have reported a 300% increase in their knowledge of the filmmakers’ merchandise line and a concurrent 50% decrease in their understanding of the supposed conspiracy theories.

One Twitter user, @iWantMyMoneyBack, commented, “They somehow managed to turn ‘Plandemic 3: The Great Awakening’ into the greatest late-night shopping channel sequel ever. My only question: when does the popcorn machine go on sale?”

Though the film promises to peel back the layers of the world’s complex machinations, critics argue that it mainly peels back the layers of self-promotion and left-right paradigm scaremongering, resulting in a cinematic onion that leaves audiences weeping for various reasons.

“Sure, we may be nudging towards a confrontation with China, and yes, we may be suspicious of global organizations,” said film critic I. M. Sceptical. “But these filmmakers seem more focused on aiming low and selling their branded ‘anti-globalist’ merchandise than informing viewers about the hidden forces truly influencing our world.”

The film’s breathtaking climax is essentially a lengthy advertisement for Willis and Sears’ product line, including but not limited to ‘Free Thinker’ hoodies, ‘Deep State’ coffee mugs, and their bestselling ‘I Survived The Globalist Apocalypse’ t-shirts, available in all sizes.

While claiming to expose the true puppeteers of the world, the documentary conveniently overlooks the fact that the world’s actual 1% remain obscured in the shadows, using the political left and right to further their agendas. But why focus on the ultra-elusive figures when you can sell anti-establishment coffee mugs?

Willis and Sears have defended the documentary, stating: “The truth may be hard to swallow, which is why we’re launching our ‘Gulp Down The Truth’ branded beverage line next quarter.”

Whether the film will spark meaningful conversation or simply stoke the fires of political paranoia remains to be seen. But one thing is for sure: you can show your support for the cause by purchasing an ‘I Sparked Meaningful Conversation’ bumper sticker from the filmmakers’ website. Only $14.99 plus shipping and handling.

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