In an unprecedented turn of events, former President Donald Trump, facing indictments from special counsel Jack Smith’s investigation, has announced a new defense strategy that has left the nation in stitches. Trump plans to summon the spirit of Abraham Lincoln to testify on his behalf.
“Nobody knows more about being a president under fire than Honest Abe,” Trump declared at a press conference, held at the foot of the Lincoln Memorial. “I’ve always said I’m the most honest president since Lincoln. It’s only fitting that he comes back to help me out.”
Trump’s legal team, initially baffled by the strategy, has since embraced it. “We’ve tried everything else,” said one anonymous source. “And honestly, it’s not the weirdest thing we’ve done.”
The logistics of the summoning are still being worked out, but Trump is reportedly in talks with renowned psychic, Madame Zaza.
Madame Zaza, known for her appearances on late-night infomercials, has expressed enthusiasm about the project. “I’ve contacted many spirits, but never a president. This is a big step up from Aunt Edna’s missing cat.”
Critics have been quick to point out the absurdity of the situation. “This is a court of law, not a Halloween party,” said one legal analyst. “But then again, this is Trump we’re talking about. Normal rules don’t seem to apply.”
Meanwhile, the spirit of Abraham Lincoln could not be reached for comment. However, sources close to the spectral president have hinted that he’s less than thrilled about the idea. “He’s been enjoying his rest,” said one spectral source. “Being dragged into 21st-century politics was not on his afterlife agenda.”
As the nation waits with bated breath, one thing is clear: this is one court case that will go down in history. Whether it’s remembered as a farce or a groundbreaking legal strategy remains to be seen.
