Zuckerberg vs Musk: tech titans settle differences in Roman colosseum showdown

ROME – In an unexpected turn of events that has left the tech world in a state of disbelief, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg and SpaceX CEO Elon Musk have announced plans to settle their long-standing feud in a one-on-one gladiator tournament in the Colosseum of Rome.

“Nothing says ‘let’s settle this like adults’ quite like a gladiator fight,” Zuckerberg declared during a Facebook Live event, held in front of a green screen displaying the Colosseum. “I’ve always said I’m the most competitive tech CEO since Steve Jobs. It’s only fitting that we take this to the arena.”

Musk, never one to back down from a challenge, accepted the proposal on Twitter. “Bring it on, Zuck. May the best tech titan win,” he tweeted, followed by a string of gladiator and rocket emojis.

The tech community was initially baffled by the announcement. “This is a tech feud, not a Hollywood movie,” said one industry insider. “But then again, this is Silicon Valley we’re talking about. Normal rules don’t seem to apply.”

As the battle commenced, Zuckerberg, armed with a trident and net, seemed to struggle against Musk’s sword and shield. But then, in a move that shocked spectators, Zuckerberg tore off part of his face, revealing a metallic cyborg structure underneath.

“Guess the rumors were true,” Zuckerberg declared, his voice now carrying a distinct robotic echo. “I’ve always said I’m the most efficient tech CEO since Steve Jobs. It’s only fitting that I’m part cyborg.”

The crowd gasped, but many admitted they weren’t entirely surprised. “I mean, we’ve all joked about Zuck being a robot for years,” said one spectator. “The guy has the emotional range of a toaster. But this? This is next level.”

Musk, however, was unfazed. “You’re not the only one with tech upgrades, Zuckerborg,” he retorted. With a dramatic flourish, Musk activated a rocket booster hidden in his gladiator armor, propelling him high above the arena. “I’ve always said, when in doubt, go to space.”

The tech community, initially baffled by the spectacle, has since embraced it. “We’ve seen some crazy things in Silicon Valley,” said one tech analyst, “but a cyborg-Zuckerberg and rocket-Musk gladiator fight? That’s a new level of crazy.”

As the world recovers from the shock, one thing is clear: this is one tech feud that will go down in history. Whether it’s remembered as a farce or a groundbreaking dispute resolution strategy remains to be seen. But in the meantime, sales of cyborg masks and rocket boosters have skyrocketed, and the Colosseum has never been more popular.