In a highly unanticipated turn of events, tech billionaire and Twitter CEO, Elon Musk, finds himself at the center of an unexpected lawsuit. Outraged Twitter users are suing Musk for distress and emotional damage after his flimsy content monitoring system inadvertently permitted what the internet has since dubbed ‘Bum-gate’ to trend globally.
Early risers logged on to Twitter to be visually assaulted by an overwhelming volume of images featuring the naked posterior of superstar singer Sam Smith and a well-known BBC news host.
The two unrelated scandals skyrocketed in views and remained at the top of trending feeds throughout the day as people swarmed to express their outrage about the affronting displays.
The incident, now colloquially termed ‘the great Monday Morning Mooning’, has led many coffee-addled users to decry Musk, asking if they can sue for ‘Emotional Posterior Stress Disorder’ (EPSD).
“It was a typical Monday morning, I had my coffee, was catching up with the news when suddenly, there it was! A scene straight from Game of Thrones! I desperately clicked a different trending hashtag as the image burned itself into my retinas only to be accosted by another scandalous photo featuring a different naked individual!” exclaimed traumatized user @IJustWokeUpForThis, who is now considering trading his morning Twitter scroll for a less harrowing hobby, like extreme mountain climbing or swimming with piranhas.
“If you click a link featuring Sam Smith you’re inviting nightmares into your life,” replied another Twitter user. “I once had a dream about Sam chasing me across a cornfield in an inflatable latex balloon suit.”
The photos of Sam Smith’s concert shocked users, who were appalled and astounded after discovering that children were permitted to view the concert. The superstar singer took to the stage in nothing but minimal straps of black leather and heavy make-up, with background dancers similarly attired gyrating around him.
The performance was open to all age groups, with horrified critics pointing out that children were given free entrance instead of being denied entry due to the graphic nature of the performance. Adults, on the other hand, had to pay a small fee for the privilege of being horrified in person.
“His outfit was so skimpy, I think I saw more of Sam Smith than his doctor has!” cried one horrified spectator who wishes to remain anonymous for fear of receiving an invite to the next concert.
On the other side of the pond, the BBC faces its own scandal, after a high-ranking news host was accused of soliciting inappropriate images from a young person. Citizen detectives flooded the Twitterverse, speculating about the identity of the individual. Their investigations turned up scandalous photographs of a well-known news host, which flooded twitter feeds early this morning.
The social media giant, Twitter, caught in the middle of all this, has expressed sympathies for its traumatized users. “Twitter is for sharing opinions and cute cat videos, not for flaunting behinds!” a spokesperson said.
As the global population attempts to scrub the morning’s images from their minds, the world awaits an official response from Elon Musk. Until then, Twitter users have requested a #NoMoreMooning law, because there’s only one kind of full moon people want to wake up to, and it’s not on Sam Smith.
